Hints
The Speaking by Heart Monthly Newsletter
December 2020
Your Giveaway is Their Takeaway
“It’s good to be here with you, and it’s a great day to be alive.” I used these word at the beginning of a recent talk to a congregation that was deeply involved in work to combat systemic racism and economic inequity. Those words were a distillation of my message. They were the one takeaway point for my presentation. I felt they captured the meaning of all the other stories, information and poetry I shared. They were words spoken to me by my mentor Mildred Scott Olmsted. Mildred was born in 1890 and was a lifelong activists for peace and freedom who, in spite of the challenges of war, social injustice and personal tragedy was able to say convincingly “It’s good to be here with you Stephen, and it’s a great day to be alive.” My goal in speaking that day was simply to help others feel what I felt when Mildred would say those words to me - that in this moment it is good to be together and, even though the times are filled with injustice and uncertainty, it is a great day to be alive. That was the gift Mildred gave me and the one I wanted everyone to “takeaway”.
I share this story for two reasons: first to underscore the importance of knowing your one main “takeaway”, and second to know that from the moment you start speaking “it is all about them - your audience.” The first can be addressed by saturating yourself in the subject and developing a logical and interesting structure for your presentation that allows you to repeat, without being boring, your one “takeaway”. The second, “its all about them,” requires your mindful attention to your audience during preparation and delivery.
Imagine you are standing before your audience. You have nothing to prepare, all that work is done. You’ve examined your subject and know what moves you to speak. The personal stories you’ll use have been carefully selected and they come from your heart and reveal your soul – who you are. The audience that is now before you has been in your mind throughout your preparation. They were there when you structured your talk, select material and posed thought-provoking questions for them. Finally, you’re rehearsal with them in mind has left you confident that your words will flow freely and your body will move naturally. Now it’s about them.
Almost immediately your audience will know if you are there for them or for some other reason. You can’t fake this, but you can do a few things that will help them know it. Your genuine, honest and open presence is the most important. Your relaxed and gently confident smile will be felt immediately. Moving slowly and confidently will also give them the comfort of knowing you are in control of your time together. Your ability to reveal, even laugh at yourself will convince them you are fully human – just like they are. You might consider structuring some interactive break-out moments into your presentation where two or three people in the audience can talk to one another for 3 to 5 minutes about something you have said. This technique, while common in workshops, can also be effective in presentations, or even a sermon setting. Varying the pace and deliberately using pauses, such as drawing attention to a picture or prop, can be effective ways to draw people into your subject and into self-reflection. Be creative, stay in control and remember the folks you are talking to have come because they think you have information or insight they need and can use in their lives. You are with them for that simple reason – it’s what they takeaway this is import.
Speaking by Heart
Small Group
Zoom Session
Wednesday December 16
12-1:30 PM (ET)
Registration limited
In the safety of a small group zoom room Stephen Shick, founder of Speaking by Heart will facilitate a discussion on how to start, or take your next steps, in your practice of speaking without a script. Participation limited to six.
Visit our website to register
Words To Free
Your Spirit
After all, therefore, which can be said, the great essential requisite to effective preaching in this method (or indeed in any method) is a devoted heart. A strong religious sentiment, leading to a fervent zeal for the good of other(s), is better than all rules of art; it will give him courage, which no science or practice could impart, and open his lips boldly, when the fear of man would keep them closed. . . .Art may fail him, and all his treasures of knowledge desert him; but if his heart be warm with love, he will “speak right on,” aiming at the heart, and reaching the heart. .
Hints on Extemporaneous Preaching, 1824
Henry Ware, Jr.
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Hints for Your Practice
What is your one take-away point? Ask yourself this question when considering every story, illustration, or piece of information.
Is there a word or phrase that you can repeat at the end or during each section of your talk?
During your preparation bring to mind an image of your audience. Who is there? Why do they want to listen to you? What is the gift you want to give them ?
November 2020
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In This
Issue Hints for Reflection Speak Generously with a Grateful Heart Words to Free Your Spirit Howard Thurman H Small Group Zoom Conversation Wednesday December 16 WEw 12 to 1:30 PM (ET) Register Here Visit our Website Hints for Your Practice |
Speak Generously with a Grateful Heart Make generosity and gratitude part of your preparation and delivery and you will release positive energy into your speaking. The result will: Your audience will invite you into their hearts. Wisdom and religious traditions around the world encourage the practice spiritual disciplines to promote these human qualities. My grandfather knew he was instilling this practice in our hearts when he folded his hands in prayer at the end of a meal and said: “Oh, Give thanks unto the Lord for he is good and his mercies endure forever and ever, Amen.” In the 20th century millions of people were inspired to live grateful and generous lives by Albert Schweitzer, one of the most widely respected ethical leaders of the time. Because of his deep sense of gratitude, he gave up a distinguished and promising career as a theologian and organist. He returned to his studies and became a physician and spent the rest of his life serving the poor in Africa. A story from his childhood helped me discover a deeper meaning to the familiar phrase often used by public speakers - “it's a privilege to be here.” Young Albert’s parents were well educated and prosperous. Albert was a large and strong boy and one day he found himself in a wrestling match with another student. In the struggle, Albert threw his challenger forcefully to the ground. The other boy, Albert recalled, felt humiliated and cried out, “Darn it, if I got soup with meat twice a week as you do, I would be as strong as you are!”9 Schweitzer told this story to explain his decision to generously serve African people and establish his world-famous hospital in Lambarene, Gabon. It was quite by accident that I began mindfully linking gratitude and generosity to my public speaking. The turning point was another uncertain time, September 11, 2001. That day the meeting of the Interfaith Clergy Association was interrupted by the news of the attacks on the Twin Towers in New York City. Time moved slowly as we watched and absorbed what was happening. Then a sense of urgency set in as we became aware that this was a national, not local, disaster. We agreed to hold a city-wide interfaith service at my church that evening. What normally took weeks of planning for such a service now had to be completed in hours. As President of the association I called the Mayor who was pleased to hear what we were proposing. I felt a sense of honor and gratitude to host this event and a responsibility to generously give myself to the task. There was no time to hone and marinate my thoughts or write them out. This would truly be an extemporaneous experience. What saved me that day was my mindfulness training and the fact that I had learned to trust that if I knew deep in my heart what I was going to say the words would come . As I watched the sanctuary fill, I felt fearful, not of speaking, but of the uncertainty of what other attacks might have been planned for this day in small cities like ours. I remember watching the Mayor’s quiet demeanor. His pastoral presence reminded me of the role of the confident comforter that I needed to play to calm the palpable anxiety in the room. I consciously allowed gratitude for this opportunity to inform my words. As the service ended, I felt a deep satisfaction for having helped create what so many people needed—a safe place to feel they were not alone, and that love was present even in that dark and fear-filled time. This experience encouraged me to think of every speaking engagement as an opportunity to share the positive energy that flows from the spiritual practice of gratitude and generosity.
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Hints For Your Practice
Visualize the setting for you next presentation and center yourself there with these questions:
Why were you asked to speak to this group? Answer this by bringing to mind your mentors and teachers and how they prepared you to speak.
What do you know and appreciate about those who invited me? Do you consider it a privilege to speak to them and, if so, why?
What qualities of personal generosity (giving freely of oneself) do you want to bring to your preparation and delivery?
Center yourself with a poem, reading, or scripture that calls you to be grateful and generous. Refer to it as you prepare. Select a single phrase or line and reflect on it briefly before going to sleep.
Create a few lines of personal and heartfelt gratitude and generosity and share these in your presentation instead of the predictable “it’s a privilege to be here.”
Visualize the setting for you next presentation and center yourself there with these questions:
Why were you asked to speak to this group? Answer this by bringing to mind your mentors and teachers and how they prepared you to speak.
What do you know and appreciate about those who invited me? Do you consider it a privilege to speak to them and, if so, why?
What qualities of personal generosity (giving freely of oneself) do you want to bring to your preparation and delivery?
Center yourself with a poem, reading, or scripture that calls you to be grateful and generous. Refer to it as you prepare. Select a single phrase or line and reflect on it briefly before going to sleep.
Create a few lines of personal and heartfelt gratitude and generosity and share these in your presentation instead of the predictable “it’s a privilege to be here.”
October 2020
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In This
Issue Hints for Reflection Making Speaking a Spiritual Discipline Words to Free Your Spirit Dag Hammarskjöld Small Group Zoom Conversation Thursday November 12 12 to 1:30 PM (ET) Register Here Visit our Website Hints for Your Practice Speaking by Heart Small Group Zoom Session Thursday November 12 12-1:30 PM (ET) Registration limited In the safety of a small group zoom room Stephen Shick, founder of Speaking by Heart will facilitate a discussion on how to start, or take your next steps, in your practice of speaking without a script. Participation limited to six. Visit our website to register |
Making Speaking a Spiritual Discipline Several years into my practice of speaking publicly without a script I realized I was using and developing spiritual practices to support that effort. This was not intentional at first, but in time it became one of my most important spiritual practices. Here’s are four ways I turned my speech preparation and delivery into a spiritual practice. 1.) Saturating myself in the theme or subject of my talk deepened into a journey of self-discovery when I asked: What is my personal relationship to this content? Why did I choose it? What personal stories do I have that demonstrate my message? In this way I united my heart and mind, my head and my spirit. This self-examination also enabled me to connect with my audience, not as an expert or sage, but as a fellow traveler who wanted to share what he discovered about the subject and himself. 2.) Before reviewing and sorting my material into categories or placing them on my mind map, I simply took a few minutes to “center down” and take an “inward journey,” as Howard Thurman called this practice. Gradually, I discovered the purpose of this prayerful or meditative time was to discover and affirm my own authority – my own voice as a speaker. It was my honest and heart felt relationship with the subject that gave me authority. 3.) Knowing and memorizing sacred scriptures, wisdom literature, and poetry is a widely practiced spiritual discipline that supports speaking without a script. Once known or memorized I found these resources could be drawn upon again and again to enrich and enliven my presentations. I also found that studying and memorizing before I went to sleep had the added advantage of helping me organize and remember my material. 4.) Delivering my presentation became a spiritual discipline as I put my ego aside and focused on my relationship with my subject and my audience. Rather than thinking of what I had to say as a sermon or lecture I began thinking of my talks as extemporaneous prayer or mindfulness exercises. Everything I needed was within me as I began to speak. Trusting my words would flow freely from the unity of my heart and mind was a spiritual practice. My task was to open my heart and share. Being mindfulness while presenting became a spiritual discipline as I tried to do what Dag Hammarskjöld once suggested “vanish as an end and remain purely as a means. “ Words To Free Your Spirit You are not the oil, you are not the air-- Merely the point of combustion, the flash-point Where the light is born. You are merely the lens in the beam. You can only receive, give and possess The light as a lens does... You will know life and be acknowledged by it According to your degree of transparency, your Capacity, that is, to vanish as an end, and remain purely a means. From Markings By Dag Hammarskjold 7-28-57 |
Hints for Your Practice
Examine your relationship with your subject. Get personal with it. Don’t be
satisfied with surface answers. Dig deep and surface what excites you,
scares you, and satisfies you about the subject.
Ask yourself: What gives me authority to speak on this subject? If you’re an
expert in a particular field go deeper into the question of why you decided
to become an expert. Your motivation itself may be a type of authority that
opens the hearts of those in your audience.
Select a few lines of scripture, literature or poetry that you plan to use in you
talk and memorize them. Let them be a guide to the different dimensions of
your life and your subject.
Explore what it means to you to “vanish as an end and remain purely as a
means.”
Examine your relationship with your subject. Get personal with it. Don’t be
satisfied with surface answers. Dig deep and surface what excites you,
scares you, and satisfies you about the subject.
Ask yourself: What gives me authority to speak on this subject? If you’re an
expert in a particular field go deeper into the question of why you decided
to become an expert. Your motivation itself may be a type of authority that
opens the hearts of those in your audience.
Select a few lines of scripture, literature or poetry that you plan to use in you
talk and memorize them. Let them be a guide to the different dimensions of
your life and your subject.
Explore what it means to you to “vanish as an end and remain purely as a
means.”
September 2020
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In This Issue Hints for Reflection Visualize Your Talk Words to Free Your Spirit Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Small Group Practice Session Thursday September 24 12 to 1:30 PM (ET) Register Here Visit our Website Speaking by Heart Small Group Zoom Session Thursday September 24 12-1:30 PM (ET) Registration limited Get ready for the fall season of virtual meetings, presentations, video conferencing or speaking to small socially distanced groups. In the safety of a small group zoom room Stephen Shick, founder of Speaking by Heart will facilitate a discussion on how to start, or take your next steps, in your practice of speaking without a script. Participation limited to six. Visit our website to register Words To Free Your Spirit The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times…The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi |
Visualize Your Talk In his 1824 book, Hints on Extemporaneous Preaching , Henry Ware Jr. argued that effective words come if you know your subject, have created a logical structure, and can hold an overview of your entire presentation in your mind. If you do this, he said, people will trust and believe you just like they do a good lawyer who speaks directly, eye to eye, with the jury. Ware Jr. as the Professor of Pastoral and Pulpit Excellence at Harvard Divinity School. His book was used and extensively quoted throughout the 19th century by teachers of homiletics (the art of preaching) inmany Protestant denominations. Quite by accident, I discovered that without writing I could create a four-minute, well-focused call to worship using Henry Ware Jr.’s formula of knowing your subject, creating a logical outline, and visualizing the entire talk. I was on my way to church one Sunday when suddenly I remembered I hadn’t written out my opening words of welcome. At the time I was blessed with a 45-minute drive to church. On the ride that day a memory of my father came to me. Dad would always point out things of beauty or interest while we were in the car. “Look,” he would say, “the autumn grass is turning red” or “Look how last night’s storm ripped that branch from the elm tree over there.” With only a half-hour until I would turn into the parking lot, I had to come up with something. I decided I would recall something that happened at the church during the week, then I would pretend I was my father and weave a travel log of what I saw on my drive that morning. Following that I would link those images to the theme of the worship. That was it. All I had to do was select and remember three things: an event at the church in the past week, the natural beauty I saw on my drive, and my worship theme. Some twelve years after I left that church I ran into one of my old parishioners. The first thing she said to me was she would always remember my opening words and how I linked my love of nature to the morning’s worship. By accident I had learned to trust that my words would come from my heart if I followed my heart and a simple visualized outline. I soon discovered that visualizing my little logical structure was more important than I first thought and could be created anywhere - driving, walking, riding on a train, or just sitting quietly. It seem so obvious now: My comments had a beginning (a church event during the week), a middle (my travel log) and an end (the theme of the worship service). Now I could visualize the entire arc of my opening words. This visualization gave me additional confidence, as Professor Ware also taught, that the words would then flow smoothly. I was learning the value of what is now the well- established educational practice of mind mapping, a visual diagram showing the relationship of items to a singular subject. Usually the main subject is placed in the centeof the page with related key words or images radiating from it. I use a variation of this and place my main point at the top left or right of a page and then extend the flow of my talk downward . I start this process after I am well on the way to reaching the content saturation point. On differ ent color sticky notes I write down the names of the stories, scriptures, poems, main content thoughts or ideas, and illustrations I think I might use. These may include some hand-drawn figures, designs or pictures cut out from magazines. With all these piled on a piece of paper, I then try to capture, in a few words or sentences, the one subject or take-away I want to share with my audience. This can also be done using shapes and colors on your computer or other devises. |
Hints for Your Practice
Organize your material to make one main take-away point. Then memorize
or take a mental picture of one word, phrase, or image that summarizes
each item you have selected to support it. There are two goals for organizing
your material. First, present your subject in a way that captures and holds
your audience from your opening line on. Use unique, engaging, and
memorable demonstrations, illustrations, props or pictures. Second,
organize your materials in a way that helps you make easily understand
connections between your stories, illustrations, information, and questions
about your subject.
There are a wide variety of ways to create a mind or concept map.. You might
want to use one of many available software choices, such as TheBrain,
MindMapper, Imindmap, Mind Manager, Novamind, and Visual Mind. Or,
simply use sticky notes, pen, pencils, markers, and scissors as I do. Be
creative, use your imagination, and have fun.
August 2020
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In This
Issue Hints for Reflection Break It Up Words to Free Your Spirit Dale Carnegie Small Group Zoom Conversation Wed.August 19 12 to 1 PM (ET) Register Here Visit our Website Speaking by Heart Small Group Practice Session Wednesday August 19 12-1:30 PM (ET) Registration limited Registration limited Get ready for the fall season of virtual meetings, presentations, video conferencing or speaking to small socially distanced groups. In the safety of a small group zoom room participants will present their prepared three-minute talk on a subject of their choice. Supportive feed-back will be given by other participants. The theme for this session is Befriending Fear and Finding Courage. Stephen Shick, founder of Speaking by Heart will facilitate the session. Participation limited to six. Visit our website to register |
Break It Up It was a busy week and I didn’t know where I would find time to create an eighteen to twenty-minute sermon. Weeks ago I had selected the theme based on a line of poetry by Theodore Roethke - “In a dark time the eye begins to see.” By Thursday, the day I set aside to we ave my gathered materials together, I thought I was all set. As usual, I had too much good material - a couple of good self-revealing personal stories of my own dark times, a story of a mentor of mine whose struggle in the dark times for women’s rights predated suffrage, and a few poems and scriptures. Also, I had my one take away point - “in a dark time the eye begins to see.” I couldn’t, however, get the different stories and examples to fit together. I was stuck. With the limits of time pressing down on me I decide to divide my talk into three related, but stand-alone segments separated by music and poetry. Between the first and second part I asked the music director to play something soft and reflective for two to three minutes, and between the second and third parts I asked the worship leader to read a brief poem. As I thought about creating three “little” homilies – not a “big” twenty-minute sermon – the anxiety of not having enough preparation time began lifting. Come Sunday I was all set. I had practiced the three segments and discovered linkages that made them flow together. As I was presenting the first segment I had a surprise. Halfway through a well-rehearsed poem I for got a few lines. As I waited for them to emerge from a crack in my brain (as they often do) I caught a glimpse of a woman in the audience. She was intently looking at me as if asking “what comes next?” My unintential pause had drawn her into the empty space of anticipation. I finished the poem and during the musical interlude realization that by dividing my sermon into segments I had created build in pauses where the audience could be drawn into the waiting space of their own thoughts and feeling. Words To FreeYour Spirit A modern audience, regardless of whether it is fifteen people at a business conference or a thousand people under a tent, wants the speaker to talk just as directly as he would in a chat, and in the same general manner he would employ in speaking to one of them in conversation, in the same manner, but with greater force or energy. In order to appear natural, he has to use much more energy in talking to forty people than he does in talking to one. . . (A good public speaking instructor) desires you to speak with such intensified naturalness that your audience will never dream that you have been “formally” trained. A good window does not call attention to itself. It merely lets in the light. A good speaker is like that. He is so disarmingly natural that his hearers never notice his manner of speaking: they are conscious only of his matter. The Quick & Easy Way to Effective Speaking. Dale Carnegie |
Hints for Your Practice
As you saturate yourself in the subject of your talk, identify two or three central ideas, stories, or examples. Consider how you might use these as separate. - stand alone - segments of your talk.
Vary the length and use of the separating spaces between your segments. For example, engage your audience with a reflective question, invite them into silence or to listen to music, ask them to briefly share with the person next to them their thoughts on a question you pose. Be creative with those separating spaces.
Practice each segment until you feel your words flow naturally, as if in a conversation. This will help you engage your audience with "intensified naturalness", as Dale Carnegie said.
