Getting Started
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Step One
Discover Your Story--Tell Your Story
Come Alive with Your Story
Discover Your Story--Tell Your Story The first thing your audience wants to know is who you are, your personal relationship to the subject, and can they trust you. Put another way, are you authentic. Speaking by Heart asks you to know yourself so well, your history, emotions and habits that you can relate them honestly to your subject and reveal them about yourself. If you can’t find yourself in the topic you're speaking on, don’t speak. Actors are asked to discover themselves in the roles they play, you are asked to discover and explore how you relate to your subject. Why do I love this subject? What about it excites me? Who am I in relationship to it? What does this subject have to do with the meaning of my life? Ask these questions until you find passionate stories, information and words. Ask until you come alive with purpose and meaning.
A five-time Moth Grand Slam winner and bestselling novelist Matthew Dicks shows how we all have stories waiting inside us that can both transform our lives and inspire others. In this video, he suggests that at the end of the day you sit quietly and review your day and identify the stories you find there. He calls taking notes on these events his "Homework for Life" because of their surprising life changing results. After watching this video, and review Step 6 "Sleep on it" and consider how you might use your story and your sleep as a spirit freeing practice.
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Come Alive with Your Story
There is a reason that the most successful TED Talks are 65% stories and the Moth Radio Hour is so popular -- stories. Stories make the storyteller “come alive.” Your audience wants to feel what you are feeling whether it is joy, sorrow, anger or excitement. And you in turn will feel what they are feeling. Neuroscientist Vilayanur Ramachandran’s discussion of what he calls Gandhian neurons in the "Whole Body Speaking" section of this website is an invitation to make awareness of your relationship with your audience a spirit freeing affirmation of interdependence.
Coming alive with your story requires mindfulness of who you are, awareness of your connection to your audience and your sense of a purpose greater than yourself. These are the essential three dimensions of speaking by heart. The more you are mindful of these dimensions while preparing and speaking, the more you will be able to "read" your audience, touch their hearts, and reveal yours.
Step Two
Live in the "Spirit-Freeing Paradox
You are not the oil; you are not the air-
Merely the point of combustion, the flash
point where the light is born . . . You will
know life and be acknowledged by it
according to your degree of transparency,
your capacity, that is, to vanish as an end,
and remain purely a means.
Dag Hammarskjold
As the second Secretary General of the United Nations, Dag Hammarskjold traveled around the world speaking to small and large audiences. Every evening he took time to write in his journal. He called what he wrote his “conversations with God.” He could have spent those evenings writing about his history-changing experiences. He could have documented his part in freeing much of Africa from colonial rule or his visionary work to establish the role of the United Nations in a new era. Historians and diplomats would have welcomed that. Yet, when he retired each day he wrote for a different purpose. His consuming intent was to discover and rediscover his ever-changing authentic voice. That voice, he thought, would be filled with meaning and purpose, and void of the ego’s limitations.
The Spirit-Freeing Paradox in Speaking by Heart is that your talk is all about you and not about you at all. A fundamental source of fear of speaking is the feeling of being alone and isolated with your ego - or self-image - fully exposed and vulnerable. When you discover that the feeling that moves you to speak is more important than you, then fears begin to vanish. (See Step 4 below and Exercises for Individuals and Small Groups )
As you watch this historic recording of his 1953 inaugural speech, note how he seldom uses the notes he has placed on the lectern and how his heart-felt words capture the spirit of the above quotation.
Step Three
Saturate, Organize, Memorize
Saturate. When water is saturated with thermal energy it boils. It becomes intense, bright and pure. When air reaches the saturation point it can’t absorb more water and its temperature and dew point are equal, in balance. Saturation often means that some capacity is at its fullest and anything beyond that point is superfluous or unnecessary. I have found that my best public speaking happens when I have reached the saturation point regarding the subject I am speaking about. Spirit freeing practices like studying and memorizing poems or inspirational literature saturate and prepare you to speak from your heart. You bubble-over with information and emotions you want to share. You’re intense, bright and colorful. And like air when saturated, you are balanced. Read widely, talk to experts, watch TED Talks. Get up from your reading chair and speak aloud what you just read. Talk to yourself about the subject continually for two or three days before your presentation. The result: unexpectedly information or perspectives will flow naturally into your presentation. This will surprise you and delight your audience.
Trust that beautiful and powerful words will come to you. Henry Ware, Jr.'s (below) made this important point in his widely used 1828 "Hints on Extemporaneous Speaking" and it is still true. The almost instant flow of spoken words from images seen or remembered is the subject of current scientific study. This article in Max-Plank Gesellschaft will help build your confidence that words will come to you as you speak. https://www.mpg.de/7959561/temporal_coordination-thinking_speaking
Organize your material to make one main “take-away point." Then memorize one word, phrase, or picture that summarizes each item you have selected to support your "take-away point." There are two goals for organizing your material. The first is to present your subject in a way that captures and holds your audience from your opening line on. Use a unique, engaging, and memorable demonstration, illustration, prop or picture. Second, organize your materials in a way that helps you make easily understood connections between your stories, illustrations, information, and questions about your subject.
Memorize poems, scriptures, stories, and traditional or inspirational writings. Each item you memorize becomes part of an inward reservoir you can draw upon, not only as you speak, but also in your daily life. Memorizing places items in your heart to guide and enrich your life as well as your audience. Arrange and rearrange your memorized words, phrases, or pictures on a piece of paper or device so that you can visualize your entire presentation in your mind. This is all the outline you will need. Know and use your body's amazing ability to remember visually, kinetically, and aurally. Write, draw, say or sing your outline. Mind mapping and drawing are two powerful ways to help you remember what you have saturated yourself in and organized. Here are two videos that will guide you.
CREATE A MIND MAP |
REMEMBER IMAGES |
Step Four
Befriending Fear & Finding Confidence
For most people there is no greater fear than that of public speaking. Your spirit freeing practices can help you reduce fear and build confidence. In his classic book "The Art of Loving", psychologist Eric Fromm notes, “The awareness of human separation, without reunion by love—is the source of shame. It is at the same time the source of guilt and anxiety.” Overcoming a sense of separation is, he asserts, a universal question asked and answered by all cultures. It is the question of “how to achieve union, how to transcend one’s own individual life and find atonement.” Some religions call this “at-one-ment.”
In her popular TED Talk, Dr. Amy Cuddy provides another fear reducing practice, the use of the powers that innately reside in your body. The section on this site entitled "Exercises for Individuals and Small Groups" will help you discover more about the source of your fear and point you in the direction of overcoming it.
Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy' s TED Talk on how "power posing" can change your body and mind and build confidence relates at many levels to Speaking by Heart. Her research has been widely debated in the academic community, but its clear take-a-way is important.
Befriending Fear & Finding Confidence
For most people there is no greater fear than that of public speaking. Your spirit freeing practices can help you reduce fear and build confidence. In his classic book "The Art of Loving", psychologist Eric Fromm notes, “The awareness of human separation, without reunion by love—is the source of shame. It is at the same time the source of guilt and anxiety.” Overcoming a sense of separation is, he asserts, a universal question asked and answered by all cultures. It is the question of “how to achieve union, how to transcend one’s own individual life and find atonement.” Some religions call this “at-one-ment.”
In her popular TED Talk, Dr. Amy Cuddy provides another fear reducing practice, the use of the powers that innately reside in your body. The section on this site entitled "Exercises for Individuals and Small Groups" will help you discover more about the source of your fear and point you in the direction of overcoming it.
Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy' s TED Talk on how "power posing" can change your body and mind and build confidence relates at many levels to Speaking by Heart. Her research has been widely debated in the academic community, but its clear take-a-way is important.
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Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy' s TED Talk on how "power posing" can change your body and mind and build confidence relates at many levels to Speaking by Heart. Her research has been widely debated in the academic community, but it’s clear take-a-way is important. |
Step Five Practice, Practice, Practice
Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi is widely known for his development of “flow theory” and his findings that link the result of practice to happiness and satisfaction. According to his theory, flow results when a high level of skill is appropriately challenged and engaged. The popular sports term for this positive psychology is “being in the zone.” Musician and actors, especially those who improvise, often experience flow as being at one with the music or character. When flow happens distinctions between performer, instrument and music vanish. Similarly, spiritual disciplines in many religions encourage practice to achieve an awareness of oneness or unity. Put another way, the ego is lost in the task. You might say, as Dag Hammarskjold did (see Step 2 above) "you vanish as an end" and become one with the performance. According to Csikszentmihalyi there are three conditions when flow happens: 1.) when the task is known and clearly defined, 2.) when immediate feedback is recognized or felt by the performer that enables her to adjust appropriately (when speaking this comes both from within and from your audience), and 3.) when the performer is confident she has the necessary skills.
There are many prerequisites to finding flow when Speaking by Heart. The steps just mentioned can all lead to "flow" while speaking. The simple truth is the more you practice the better you get. The experienced speaker will not need to set aside as much time to rehearse as the beginner. It may be enough for them to be saturated in the subject and know their outline.
I have found giving my speech or talk three times in front of a mirror or video recorder, or just imagining I am in front of my audience is a great confidence builder. After doing that l can say, “I did it and I can do it again.” In the process I also learn more about how the stories and information fit, or don't fit, together. With each review, I feel my words flowing more freely. I accept that I may forget this point or that from one rehearsal to the next, but it will not matter as long as I have delivered my message clearly and authentically. With practice my message shortens and is distilled into an elixir I know the audience will love. One of the greatest, and often not mentioned, value of rehearsal is that you learn to trust words will come to you, beautiful and powerful words. I think you will enjoy the animated presentation of Csikszentmihalyi's "flow theory" in the first video. In the second, Csikszentmihalyi explains his theory and how it is linked to happiness. This discussion of flow goes to the center of Speaking by Heart's goal of freeing your spirit and coming alive with what moves in your heart.
Step 6 Sleep on It
In "The Committee of Sleep: How Artists, Scientists, and Athletes use dreams for creative problem-solving and how you can too," Deirdre Barrett documents examples of how the “committee” has worked for leading figures in a variety of disciplines. Here are just a few individuals Barrett mentions that might encourage you to explore how you can use sleep as you create your next talk: Ludwig van Beethoven, Paul McCartney, Billy Joel, Robert Louis Stevenson, Stephen King, Salvador Dalí, William Blake, and Nobel prize winner Otto Loewi.
Scientific studies are revealing more and more about the power of sleep to enhance and consolidate memory and help us solve complex problems. In a scholarly review in American Physiological Society entitled "About Sleep’s Role in Memory," Bjorn Rasch and Jan Born state:
A time dependency of the effects of sleep on memory formation is indicated by studies showing stronger effects for sleep occurring shortly after learning than for sleep at a later time. For example, sleep occurring within 3 hours after learning vocabulary was more beneficial than sleep delayed by more than 10 hours. Furthermore, recall of word pairs after 24 hours was better when sleep occurred immediately after learning than after a day of wakefulness...
"Sleeping on it," your talk that is. This powerful tool can be used to free your spirit to speak unscripted. Champion storyteller Matthew Dicks (Step One above) encourages his students to take five minutes before they go to bed to remember the stories they experienced during the day. As a result of this well-timed exercise, he says the number of stories he has to share grew exponentially. Religious and spiritual leaders know the power of quieting the mind before sleep to memorize scripture or poetry.
Here are three videos to guide you on your way to using sleep to prepare for your next presentation. The first is by Shai Marcu and provides and an entertaining reviewof the power of sleep for students and performers. In the second video, Arianna Huffington addresses a conference of women and with humor encourages them to resist the popular culture that honors sleep deprivation as a sign of strength and brilliance. In the third video scientist Jeff Iliff discusses how sleep renews all the functioning parts of your body.
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More tried and true practices
Henry Ware Jr.’s (1794 – 1843) was a Professor of Pastoral and Pulpit excellence at Harvard Divinity School (HDS). His book "Hints on Extemporaneous Preaching" (1824) was widely used throughout the 19th century and is still a helpful guide for Speaking by Heart. During a Preaching by Heart program co-sponsored by Harvard Divinity School, I reviewed some of Ware Jr.'s key "starting points" for speaking without notes or manuscript.
After all, therefore, which can be said, the great essential requisite to effective preaching in this method (or indeed in any method) is a devoted heart. A strong religious sentiment, leading to a fervent zeal for the good of other men, is better than all rules of art; it will give him courage, which no science or practice could impart, and open his lips boldly, when the fear of man would keep them close . . . Art may fail him, and all his treasures of knowledge desert him; but if his heart be warm with love, he will “speak right on,” aiming at the heart, and reaching the heart, and [be] satisfied to accomplish [that] great purpose.
Quoted by Fred Lybrand in Preaching on your Feet.
Free download of "Hints on Extemporaneous Preaching" by Henry Ware Jr.
After all, therefore, which can be said, the great essential requisite to effective preaching in this method (or indeed in any method) is a devoted heart. A strong religious sentiment, leading to a fervent zeal for the good of other men, is better than all rules of art; it will give him courage, which no science or practice could impart, and open his lips boldly, when the fear of man would keep them close . . . Art may fail him, and all his treasures of knowledge desert him; but if his heart be warm with love, he will “speak right on,” aiming at the heart, and reaching the heart, and [be] satisfied to accomplish [that] great purpose.
Quoted by Fred Lybrand in Preaching on your Feet.
Free download of "Hints on Extemporaneous Preaching" by Henry Ware Jr.